Anxiety is a weird thing: it’s this seemingly invisible experience that can feel so big. To me, it’s a constant hurricane: a flow that constantly moves, picking up negative thoughts and emotions on its way.
If you’re lonely, it will pick up more loneliness. Stressed? Here is some stress for you.
It will set you up to fight a fight that is not there in front of you. You can never seem to let your guard down.
I think I’ve always experienced anxiety in some way or another. It’s always been there, like a quiet ringing in my head, an electrical hum in my chest. But for whatever reason, In the last few weeks, it’s really started to affect my day to day experience. Panic attacks, depression, the works have seemed to arrive in spades.
It’s bad, but I’m certainly not in the worst position in the world. I’m privileged enough to have family and friends around me to offer support and help and I know that a lot of people in the world don’t have that. It can be hard to see at the moment but I suppose I’m really lucky.
So dealing with this is the cards I have been dealt at the moment. In a somewhat cliche term, I’m taking the time to ‘work on myself. Not necessarily James Jackson the Brand but more the Person. Not pushing myself to do anything that is not essential at the moment, only doing what is needed: getting better.
Photo by Aliaksei